![]() ![]() Knees, then elbows, slammed into asphalt. With the grocery sack under her arm and the six-pack of bottles in her hand, she headed to her car, and without warning the parking lot spiraled around her. She lifted a loaf of bread from the shelf. What she must doĪt the store, she put cheese and bologna and mustard and soda into her cart. How to start everything over again, from the beginning, so she would never again be afraid to be alone. And as she made this last promise, Lydia understood what to do. ![]() That he’s not responsible for her anymore, that he doesn’t need to worry. She will tell him that it’s all right for him to leave. If he can be brave, so sure of who he is and what he wants, perhaps she can, too. She will tell Jack she’s sorry, that she’ll never tell his secret. Feet planted firmly on nothing, Lydia- so long enthralled by the dreams of others- could not yet imagine what that might be, but suddenly the universe glittered with possibilities. She will stop holding the silent phone to her ear she will stop pretending to be someone she is not. She will give her father back his necklace and his book. And she will tell her mother, too: it’s not too late. If she fails physics, if she never becomes a doctor, it will be all right. She will take down the posters and put away the books. ![]() Lydia made a new set of promises, this time to herself. ![]()
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